Elvis lives...

Driving down Elvis Presley Boulevard, I am struck by how odd it feels to quietly cruise by his home, Graceland.  It is much smaller than I ever imagined - and so visible from the street.  This is certainly something that would never be afforded to today's paparazzi hounded celebrities.  In fact, with a good pair of binoculars, one can see straight into the bathroom!  I imagine back in the days, that this area was not so flooded by businesses and residences and that he may have enjoyed some form of privacy when he had time to himself.

It got me thinking about how the celebrity homes where I live are shrouded by trees, impervious to a camera or disruption of privacy of any kind.  Interesting.

When you step into one of the 100's of gift stores, it is as though time stands still.  The day Elvis died, every part of his life was memorialized.  It feels almost ghoulish to see his image in every commercial form; for sale to anyone who will pull out their wallet for a piece of his life.  In a strange way, it makes you laugh.  I mean, Elvis bobbleheads, toothbrushes, Beanie Babies, toilet brushes, tattoos,... the list is endless.  I looked for the tackiest thing I could find and I think the hip shaking Elvis, complete with window sucker, was right up there...  so I sprung $8.99 plus 9.25% Tennessee sales tax to take this baby home for my husband.

And then you look around and feel great sadness at the prostitution of this reverent man's life in such a degrading fashion.  I know it rakes in MILLIONS of dollars and tourists to the city of Memphis every year.  And I suppose it allows the sustainability of his legend to reign longer than one could ever imagine, but what about his daughter Lisa Marie or even his grandchildren?  It just seems so strange to me.  And I can't quite put my finger on it.  Something about it just feels wrong.

I was struck when I heard his song, "In the Ghetto," loudly playing at the drop off center.  This soulful voice telling a truthful story of life in his (and still in my) time.  What a gifted vocalist.  And I felt such awe when I saw the people who had come to capture a moment in time with someone they obviously worshiped and adored.  He was immensely popular, there is no doubt about that.  I becomes very clear just why.

I shut my eyes and said a prayer for the gift of his life and it was enough.  What a blessing to us all he was.

Insurance...

I am trying to decide what to make of insurance companies.  How it all fits into the big picture of being a safety blanket; it feels like some form of rescue in times of great distress.  Logically, I think that when I spend copious amounts on premiums every month.  I get protected from a variety of dubious acts no one can predict as well as protect others from my unforeseen future stupidity.  It all sounds seductive in a lot of ways however I am finding there is little in that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow if you are an honest and sincere client.
I added it up and gasped when I realized what I pay to seemingly protect myself and others. Then I began to daydream of wonderful things I could do with all the money I'd save if I cancelled all my policies on mass.  I could, say, lay on the beach for weeks on end.  Actually pay for the hotel instead of wash dishes in the kitchen.  Perhaps quit working 5 separate jobs, start walking everywhere and take the bus.  Gee - I'd be "green" which would make me hip, not to mention celebrate a huge weight shift and healthier lifestyle.  Maybe life longer?  Not bank on my own demise and count on saving that premium money so I can pay for the old folks home in cash.  Perhaps, now here's a novel thought... retire?  Yeah - stop working at a ripe old age.  That has been pretty much torn away from me since the economic downturn.
Yesterday, I learned that my "cadillac" health insurance has no mental health coverage.  Seems after 14 years of great insurance, our group plan was downgraded without our knowledge.  However, with a hike in the premium, it was easy to assume we might be getting something that was actually better than what we had.  Hah!  Here I am, working for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, praising the great changes with the passing of the Mental Health Parity Act, and I don't even have mental health coverage?   I asked the beloved customer service rep, this was before I told her she was going straight to hell, what then DID the Mental Health Parity Act mean?  Well - I guess you have to have 50 or more people in your group plan or it isn't included.  What kind of joke is that?  Not a loophole?  Seems to me that no matter what the good intentions are of any President signing a bill, the special interest groups work their way in to create holes in the plan so for-profit insurance companies can find a way to decline your claim.  Ridiculous.  Makes me very worried about the new health care bill.  I do love the idea however!
I am truly fed up.  I can't imagine hundred's of thousands of people who aren't.  So why no revolt?  I haven't got a clue.  I think we've all become so complacent that we truly believe we have no power anymore.  And it's beginning to look like that is a strong possibility.  And if I hear another claims adjuster say that they "care" about me, I think I will just go squirrelly!
So now the issue of karma.  I really think about that everytime something happens where my actions can affect others.  If I dent even slightly, someone's car, I will stay or leave a note so the individual I have violated will know I have integrity and character and want to come clean with my mistake.  However, my vehicle has been hit over 6 times.  No notes.  Not a one.  So is karma working here?  I don't think so.  So I'm off to get an extimate for the last dent - it is $150.00 over and above our $1,000.00 deductable.  And we have $1,150.00 laying around waiting to be used for car repairs when someone smashes the car and drives away?  So now it sits, big dent and all with no wheel well cover - pulled out when the car was hit - and I get to stare everyday at what someone decided didn't matter enough to them to be accountable for.  That I or my feelings didn't matter to them.  It really is a sad commentary on our society as a whole.
So I really believe that insurance companies don't truly care -  but to be fair, they need to act in good faith and should do the right thing to make a bad thing right.  Maybe if we felt they really did care, we might have more confidence in them.  I certainly don't.

Thanks and Giving

Anyone who thinks 2009 has been an easy year, hasn't faced the challenges met by me and my family. Sure, more often than once in a great while, I will feel my eyes well up when trying hard to maintain my outward strength and composure. It can be hard when you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

The greatest lessons I have learned have all come from the most difficult times in my life. It seems that unendingly, the facade that I called my life was slowly dissembled in front of me. How could that not hurt? I truly believed that once I became settled in the US, I had revealed my authentic self. Ii think a big part of me was really authentic. However, I still chased the same dreams all of us do. I wanted to replace the creature comforts of my life back in Canada. The problem with this was that to do it meant 4 X the amount of money and work.

I took it all on like a trooper. Working hard to regain what we lost financially when we sold and converted our funds and retirement. We still had a long way to catch up but still time. Kami was only 9 and there were years before college.

Then crash. Hours cut at work. Side work over. Unable to pay all our bills. Scholarship for Kami removed. More hours cut. Can't pay second mortgage. Mookie died. Bank ceased by FDIC. Retirement all but wiped out by bank takeover. Gary had a stroke. Medical bills over the roof,

Sometimes it feels unending. Definitely overwhelming. Unceasing. No resolve. No end yet. Hidden stress and fear.

So here we are in November. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I must say that I am counting the days until we reach that special day. It is one more bend in the road of this year until I climb up the mountain to descend the summit at Christmas time. And I am looking forward to sharing our love with my friend Judy and her family.

November and December bring Thanks and Giving. A giver like myself's most favorite time of year. Don't bother with a present for me. Just let me watch your eyes sparkle when you open the one I especially chose for you. In that moment, I have tried to connect with your inner spirit and I hope you see the thrill in my eyes when you open something I choose especially for you.  A lot of thought goes into your gift.  And in that, I feel the true spirit of love between you and I.  The comfort in my hearts boils over and I feel the real purpose of my life here.  To love.  To share.  To be loved.