You are my Sunshine

This was a tough day for you sweetheart. You are going through great big changes - starting to want to exert your independence. You go from 0 to 60 in one breath and then you release your angst in screams and tears. You get frustrated because you make mistakes and then are embarrassed. And you take it all out on me because you know I'll always love you. That is true. I will.
But it isn't how you should vent those frustrations. Life is hard. True. But being aggressive with yourself - feeling backed into a corner with your mind - makes things very difficult for you. The tears and the fighting back in defense - with yourself and me... with yourself and your father - will never serve you well.  We will be there for you always. 
We are all human beings with feelings. We feel happy. We feel excited. And we can hurt very badly.
Your words to me can hurt me very badly. 
We work hard to give you everything you need. And we work even harder to give you some of the things you really want. You never have had to ask. Remember darling, we were once your age so we know what it is like to wish for things you really want. And you are blessed to receive far more than our parents were able to give us. Things are difficult for us to afford. But it is easier than it was for our parents. So our view is that you are very blessed.
I work a lot of extra jobs so that you can attend private school and unfortunately, it has cost a lot of time and money you and I could spend traveling. Don't forget the precious time we could spend one on one together. It is never a sacrifice because you are a priority to me. Over and above anything in my life, you are my reason for living. You are my legacy. And all I wish to be remembered for is doing my very best at being your mama. Not for the beautiful buildings I designed that I won awards for. Not for overcoming all the challenges that have presented themselves in my life. Not for all the time I gave to non-profit work, doing my best to try to help everyone in our community. None of it holds a candle to you, my precious darling. We all get opportunities to touch the world in different ways. I feel like I am doing the best I can to touch everything that brings me great passion. But your happiness and our relationship is my ultimate priority. Never forget that. Never.
But you are growing up and I am afraid I won't be able to "touch" you if you keep building these walls to be tough and so grown up. You need to remember that everyone has feelings honey. Just because you don't like what someone says doesn't give you permission to be unkind or say something that hurts their feelings. 
I absolutely love spending time with you. It is fun to go shopping. To see what you love. Because I am fascinated by what you like. And I want to do these big girl things with you. I know you might feel embarrassed to shop with your mama. But the thing to say would be that you don't wish to go shopping. Not say something like, "Stop asking me if I like this and that. Stop it! You're irritating!" That is simply not what you should say when you are frustrated. It makes me not wish to spend time with you. And when I call you on it or correct you, you fly away into crazy-land where you scream and shout and then cry. Out of embarrassment? Out of frustration? I am not sure. But back stepping is wrong. Being honest is right. Speaking your truth is the right thing to do. And the mature thing to do. 
So try it sometime honey. I am here to practice with. 
One more thing.
At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines, that are way too dangerous to cross.  Here's what I know, if you're willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular! So give everything your best try. Because every time you fall, you learn. Then you get back up and try it again. And one day - you succeed!
I love you my darling. Let's try this all again, OK?
And remember, you are my sunshine and always will be. xox