Something I find fascinating is that people read my blog yet do not post a comment. They would rather call me. They believe they see some sort of thread in my posts and are concerned. Don't be concerned and no need to call. I am fine. I am simply moving through the stages of self examination that are necessary for me to know what I need for the next stage of my life. And as far as how I am at this moment? Well - I feel really great. Truly wonderful. Better than I have in years. And I know you all are wondering what's up about that? Well - just you never mind. Send all the good energy you can my way and trust that I am doing what I need to for my wellness. My life is full of beautiful people and amazing blessings.
I am absorbing the love the universe is sending me. And I am more content with me than I have been in quite a long while. I am beginning to see the little crack in the wall that is allowing the sun to shine through. And it really feels good. I haven't even had the desire (which is very unusual for me) to eat or even overeat for days now. I am full - of some sort of naturally great feeling. And I haven't felt it since I met my brother for the first time. Let me tell you - it feels really good. I'd bottle it and sell it if I could.
Not to sabotage this natural high but it is like what you athletes call an adrenalin rush - which if you know me well, you know I am incapable of having. I can breathe hard and certainly pant. But no adrenalin rush. So there is no enrapture in exercise. I do love the joy of team sports however - I like playing as part of a group. Evidenced by my short career in softball. Or volleyball. Or dodgeball! Not basketball however. Too short. Mary Tatton used to tower over me - the coach let me bow out because I was 1/2 of everyone's size. Funny. I think I still have nail gouges in my calves.
I have wandered down a new path here - a segway I guess.
I was also a great 50 yard dasher until Suzanne "W" let go of her poodle, which ran across the track during a race and tripped me in cleats in the city championship. I sprained my ankle and it still gives out on me every once in a while. Karma bit her in the ass - she had three kids before she got out of middle school. So much for that modeliing career.
Better still was running into her at my 10 year high school reunion where no one had a clue who I was. I went with my gorgeous gay friend Gwynnie. I was newly divorced and Gwynnie was a great dancer (as was I) so we thought we'd make it a night out. We ended up leaving early because someone at the table wouldn't stop talking about their multiple episiotomies and it wasn't going over well with my mate (or me for that matter). Think about that when you're trying to eat a lousy hotel dinner. I remember I went in these cool black pants, white shirt and black men's tie with embroidered furniture in white. It was funny because people would squint at my tag, look completely shocked and say, "You're Wendy Rock?" and I would look at them with a stupid smirk and say, "Huh?" Who the hell do you think I am?
Of course, all of a sudden I became everyone's best friend. The guy voted most gorgeous lost all his hair and here's the Karmic connection - Suzanne "W" was wearing a black and yellow polyester dress (gag) with the big ass bustier. She looked like a giant bumble bee. The entire event was just enough for me never to have to go back and check in with any of them again. Not to mention the, "Where's D?" "You guys were like Ken and Barbie!" (gag)
Of course, it was good to see old friends - Ceyri, Maya, Irene, Barb, Kevin, Kendall, Jamie, etc. I can't imagine where they are now. It's been over 20 years. I wouldn't set foot at another reunion without dropping 40 pounds at least. That would make me 15 pounds more than I was when I went in the first place.
So getting back to moi. I AM happy. I have been reminded of what I have to look forward to and it has brought me more joy than I have felt in a long while.
I am feeling alive. Living in the present moment only. And incredibly grateful.
Thanks for loving and caring about me... xox
PS - Yes - this is not a current photo but I like it. It is about 4 years old. Isn't my daughter a doll baby?
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