roll the dice

I look around me at all I have worked for. None of it is worth anything anymore. A friend stopped by and we talked about what a gift it would be if the wealthy of this area would step up and pay off every mortgage under $300,000. Say that's 3000 houses. So $900,000,000. Yeah - that's a lot of money. But totally doable. There is A LOT of money here.
I know that that would be an incredibly generous gift. But make everyone sign a 5 year commitment clause to the valley to buy all necessities here. Sign a form that says you have to stay in the residence and keep it pristine.
So if someone did that, what kind of impact would that have on our local economy?  All of a sudden, people without mortgages would be eating out again. Buying supplies, clothing, belongings, being able to save money again. To qualify you'd have to make less than $100,000 and more than $50,000.
Guess what? I'd do it in a heartbeat if I had the cash. In a New York minute.
Can you just imagine what kind of changes that would make to this area? And what heros these people would be? In essence, they would save a dead community from collapsing under itself. Make people give 10% of their pay to non-profit causes so they would grow. Have people actually care about each other's well being again.
Yeah - it could sound a wee bit like a dictatorship. But it would have to come from a generous heart willing to give. The stipulations would be few but would create a big impact. And you'd have to completely let go of the outcome. Your giving heart would have to be generous to a fault.
I'd comply in a heartbeat to regain what I've lost. I am petrified I will be living on the street in my 80's simply because I choose to stay home and raise my child and be self employed. There are no rewards for that period of my life. There are no kudos for my contribution to this community in the form of care and compassion to me directly. Not to mention the cost of health care. The people in the country seem so driven to have everything they can for themselves with little regard as to how that impacts everyone else. And it really makes me sad. Because that is what brought down our economy. Pure greed. 
I guess I just have to pray they reincarnate these rich greedy people to live in sheer poverty wondering where their next meal will come from. Karma doesn't seem to be working in this situation. I have always worked my ass off and I have nothing to show for it anymore. And that infuriates me. I have gone out of my way to take care of people. And that doesn't count. It isn't worth any old age pension to take care of others or raise your child yourself. No tax breaks there.
Oh well. I just paid my bills. I will probably clear over $4,500.00 this month myself and where the fuck did it go? To an upside down house, medical bills, and insurance payments. It makes me sick. No savings. 
It's a set up to failure. Nothing like what I was taught to believe as a child. The harder you worked, the more you could make and succeed. Bullshit. And I won't be teaching my daughter those values because having a huge college loan to pay off while working at Starbucks is no way to have a life. Sorry. This has all completely been a delusion for me. And it has changed my values and how I think. I could care less about banks now. Creditors. Mortgage companies. Take it all. You can fucking have it. Because you haven't held up your end of the bargain with me. And a contract and handshake means a lot to me.
Sincerely I don't want any part of any of it anymore. Truly. I just want freedom from the responsibility of getting nothing for what I pay for. Because that is how it has all worked out for me. I have 15 years to make up what I have lost. Can I do it here? Hmmm. 
I'll wish myself the best of luck and pray I don't die from a stress related illness in the meantime.