These questions plague me whenever I get into some sort of conflict with someone I consider to be difficult. Of course, that would be my own judgment of their behavior and perhaps may be unfair. But usually, I do a check with others to see if it is only me that perceives a situation in a certain way.
There is a strong and solid part of me that gives people one - two - three - even four chances to get things right by me. And the interesting thing about this is that what offends me is often not how they treat me, but how they treat others. It doesn't matter if I know the other person or not. I simply do not understand and generally do not care for people who are selfish, self serving, egomaniacal, takers, users, etc. That is because I come from many years of being taken advantage of.
You see - I have the largest heart. A giving nature. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am a grateful Christian mother - with a love for most everything created by God. I appreciate His gifts. I appreciate and love my friends and family. And I give people the benefit of the doubt. I tend to forgive rather than endlessly punish. I believe in the power of love and redemption. There is nothing I wouldn't do for someone I love. I believe in second chances. And I give to them freely. So in the end - when I have had enough,... when I am done - I am done.
I think the hardest thing I face in my daily challenges is feeling like I am not heard. When this occurs with an individual, it is the single largest red flag for me that the person is self involved. And as much as there is a part of me that wishes to pursue that relationship, I back away. Slowly. But I back away.
However difficult it may be to understand my own coping mechanisms, they work. They protect me and keep me very safe. So I think for now I will continue to hold on to them. And as far as difficult people are concerned, well I think I will skip the lesson and continue on with my journey in this life. It really is hard enough as it is...
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