Summer Vacation or Staycation?

They say that all a child wants is for you to be fully present and without saying, plenty of love and positive validation. My daughter gets all of this, in copious quantities, when we are together. It is hard to be away from the infectious smile and heart full of love she so willingly shares. Someone told me once that spending that quality time with your child is like putting money in the bank. You put that "love" in the bank and when something goes poorly in your relationship (i.e. you argue and say something hurtful) your child makes a "withdrawl" from the hopefully overflowing "love" account. The withdrawl is ALWAYS much more than the deposit ever was. So you have to bank lots and lots of "love" points.

Here I sit worrying about hurting my child by not being able to afford to take her away from Idaho for a short summer get-away. She always asks why we never go "far away" or see the glorious things she sees in magazines. The never is not necessarily so; we did venture to Anaheim, California for her cheerleading competition. That was a big road trip. I was hoping we could visit friends in San Francisco but it just feels so out of our reach. We only have August left to gather funds and life is difficult in the financial department. (You're thinking, tell me something new lady!)

There are a few items of clothing to buy and after school classes to save for. We also have to start saving for a computer for her. So it is really hard to justify a trip given the circumstances. It feels hard and rather confining to feel like you cannot do something you feel you deserve. We could go camping but she really wants to go to the BIG city... I so desperately want to take her. I used to be able to do so many things before we moved to the United States and I work harder than I ever have now. Somehow, I have twisted it all in my mind to feel like despite all of my efforts I am being punished. That is what the economy has done to middle income earners. We are unable to do the small extra things that fill our hearts up and make the journey through all of this difficulty a lot easier to handle.

I know that trips away are never a great investment except that they create the beautiful memories we can hold when our relationships move through the years. The relational part of that feels very important right now. Her life is passing by me too quickly for my liking and I don't want to have any regrets. I want to share love and laughter now while I can. Tomorrow may bring even more difficulty.
So now what do I do? I feel as though I am caught between my love as a parent and my responsibility as a parent. I can only imagine many of you all feel the same issues occurring your own lives. I could use some really good advice here... I am sure I know the answer but I am certainly struggling!